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Work-life balance and flexibility 

Published: 7 Oct 2024

By Working Families Ambassador, parenting expert and the founder of A Mother Place, Becca Maberly

Searching for and trying to establish some semblance of work-life balance is a challenge that can bring many uncomfortable moments and difficult periods of transition.  It’s not something that just comes to you, you usually have to go out and fight for it. It seldom happens overnight, but if you need things to change and you want to make it happen, it’s worth the struggle!

There will have to be compromise. There will be sacrifice. There will have to be change. Sometimes, something’s got to give. But if you keep your eyes on the prize, which is a happier life for you and your family and a lot less stress and less guilt, then hopefully this won’t feel too tough as you fight for the flex!

I’ve interviewed and chatted to hundreds of women through my network. I’ve spoken to some who feel they have the work-life balance nailed. Some who are at the other end of the spectrum, at breaking point and desperate for a life-line, and many who are somewhere in between, just living with the juggle and hoping that things will get easier soon.

And what I have learnt from talking to these women, and from my own experiences has been invaluable. It’s not rocket science by any means, but it’s a complex and multi-layered issue and most importantly each person’s situation is so different. Our personal and professional lives are constructed around our jobs, our working hours, our ambition levels, our job satisfaction, our commute, our stress levels, the presence of a partner, the level of support they offer, emotionally and practically, the division of labour at home, the amount of personal space and time we have, our lifestyle choices, our finances and of course our children, their health, their behaviour, their needs, their happiness and their very presence ALL affect our work-life-balance, or lack of!

The level of balance you have, or don’t have, is not set in stone. Just because things feel overwhelming right now, that doesn’t mean they will always be this way. 

But you have to be proactive, because left unchecked, the issue is not going to resolve itself, nor is anyone else going to come and sort it out for you.

For many, flexible working is the key to work life balance. Being able to work in a way that allows you to be there for important milestones, for nursery drop off, for school pick up, recorder recitals, doctors appointments and all the other little yet monumental moments is something that many working parents dream of. Being able to work from home and cut out the commute. Being able to throw a load of washing in before a meeting and hang it up afterwards sounds pretty basic, but for many of us it’s a pipe dream! 

Being able to work flexibly like this has been one of the greatest privileges of my parenting journey so far. I’ve only missed a handful of assemblies and pick ups and I’m able to get some of the basic chores done as part of my working day so that my husband and I don’t have to spend the whole weekend sorting socks and other tedious things like that. Don’t get me wrong, the laundry and cleaning and tidying are relentless and boring but being able to do small bits here and there, breaks up my working day and stops it from building up. It might sound like such a small thing, but all the working parents who have 10 loads of washing waiting for them on a Friday night will know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and smiles in the flexible working camp. Sometimes the lines get blurred between work and chores and I do end up doing the lions share because I am the most flexible one in our relationship. I often have to work later or earlier in the morning and I do sometimes get to the end of the day and realise I haven’t left my house, or I get to the end of the week and realise I haven’t left my postcode – that can feel a little depressing when I compare my work life to my husband’s, in central London, with exciting lunch options, the buzz of city, and drinks with colleagues, but I do get my hit of commuter life and city life from time to time!

So maybe I have the best of both worlds? Maybe that’s what flexible working is all about? Being able to be there for my children, but also being able to earn a wage and do a job I love. 

Flexible working can look different for everyone and there’s no template for it for that you can just copy. It’s about exploring what works for you, your family, and of course your employer. If you need them, Working Families are there to support you on this journey, and so am I. If you’re looking for practical ways to set healthy boundaries and feel more empowered both at home and at work, you can find more details about my resources and Work-Life Balance Programme here.